Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Workout:
5 rounds 15#/20# dumbbells

Walking lunges/chest press
28/20
20/20
20/20
20/20
25/21

Total:  101/113

I’m going to guess that my weights were a little too low, since I was doing too many reps at the end.  (I was fighting for each one, mind you, but still got the total.)  The problem with doing more reps is that there just isn’t the same amount of rest time, since I had to keep up with everyone else so that we could rotate through the equipment properly.  ARGH!  However, unreasonable though it may be, I’m trying always to recuperate quickly enough to finish as strongly as I started.  Kind of the “Tabata mentality”.

As for finishing strong, who knew that my last days in LA would be so tough!  Sheesh, I haven’t even had time to post my workouts, although I am writing them down, so that someday (soon!), I’ll be able to update the rest of them.  The movers will be at the house tomorrow (a day early – yikes!) to pack everything up.  This is so weird… after all of these years of working my fanny off (alas, not literally – that’s what CF is for!), it’s really strange to get up in the morning and not have “work stuff” to do. 

Wow.  This post was mostly a waste of electronic trees.  Move along, folks, nothing to see here…  Hopefully my next post will be more interesting/entertaining/enlightening… or, at least, grammatically correct.  Right now, I’ll settle for the latter, since my brain is clearly still out doing some last-minute partying in LA without me.  (*sigh*  This is what happens when you get old – no one wants to bother with your body anymore; they just want what is in the brain.  It’s a tragedy, really…  I miss the good ol’  “no,  really!  I’m shallow and superficial and I really only want you for your body” days…)

Yikes.  Not sure where in the recesses of my mind THAT came from.  Of all the things I’ve lost, I think I miss my brain the most.  I hope to find it again during retirement.  I hope it’s not rusty…

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Warmup:
1000m row

3x
10 push-ups (toes, knees, fingertips/knees, due to a non-functioning wrist)
15 arch rocks
15 hollow rocks
20 walking lunges

Workout
Tabata’ing:

Rows (calories) 4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4 = 4
Pull-ups 8-6-6-6-4-4-4-4-=4
Kettlebell swings (yellow) 8-8-8-7-7-7-7-7=7
Thrusters (12# dumbbells) 8-7-7-7-7-7-7-7=7
Anchored sit-ups 9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9=9

Total:  31

Okay, you know you’re getting old when you injure yourself *sleeping*.  Really.  I now have to wrap my ankle, my wrist and my neck at night to make sure I don’t get into weird positions that cause them to hurt more in the morning.  Any more injuries and I’ll just figure out how the ancient Egyptians wrapped their mummies and sleep that way.  *crossly*  If people didn’t get so upset about my sleeping upside down hanging from the rafters, the way we USED to, it wouldn’t be a problem.  Ah, the good ol’ days… before that silly Bram guy got us all in trouble.

So, Tabata’ing today!  Much fun!  I was pretty pleased with my consistency, except for the pull-ups.  I planned to do 6, but the first set seemed so easy.  Yeah.  That little fallacy didn’t last.  I should have stuck with 6…. If nothing else, it would have made the drop to 4 so much less painful.

I’m amusing myself by conjugating “tabata”, because CLEARLY it needs to be used as a verb.  I tabata, you tabata, he/she tabatas… 

Then I got to come home and haul out 50+ pound potted plants, carry a set of patio furniture out and various other weight-lifting activities.  Nothing like a little extra workout after a Tabata!  (Hmmmm…now THERE it’s a noun.  What would the plural be?  Tabatas?  Tabatae, if it’s Latin?  Tabati, if it’s Romance-language-based?  Ah, yet another fun thing to ruminate on in my soon-to-be copious spare time…  How can people ask what I’ll be doing to fill up my time in my retirement?  I’ll be BUSY on such important topics as this! Tabata conjugation, mummy wrapping – the list is truly endless!)

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Warm-up
500m row row (legs)
400m row (back)
300m row (arms)
500m row (everything)

3x
5 dips (purple band on knees)
10 Ab-mat crunches
15 Ab-mat supermans

Workout
4x
2 shoulder presses
10 v-sit medicine ball twists (14#)
15 OH squats
30 second chair sit on parallettes

Short version:  I sucked.
Longer version:  I totally, completely and emphatically sucked.

However, it’s actually all part of my sneaky strategy.  I intend to run myself into the ground in these next two weeks by not sleeping or eating, by changing my schedule randomly and other horrid things.  In this fashion, I will have deteriorated to such an extent by the time I leave that my baseline will be measured with a calendar.  That means that I am *guaranteed* phenomenal improvement in the first month, since I have pretty much nowhere to go but up!  I’ll come back for my baseline in significantly better shape, simply because I’ll be able to FUNCTION.  Oh, heck, for a stretch goal, I might even be able to - get this - count to TEN!  By myself!

*proudly*  Yep, I’ve got this thing all figured out.  These next two weeks will be GREAT!  I’ll see just how bad I can get.  Isn’t it nice to have goals?

Wednesday May 21, 2008

Warm Up
1500m Row

3X
10 Pull-Ups (1 black, 1 mini-green)
10 Squats
10 walking lunges
10 sit-ups

Workout
AMRAP in 20 minutes
1 power clean
2 front squats
3 shoulder presses
4 back squats

35# - 19 reps

I *loved* this workout, mostly because it didn’t involve counting any higher than 4. That sort of advanced mathematical calculation seems to be beyond me at this crazy point in my life. (My undergraduate alma mater wants its engineering degree back.) Last time I tried counting during workout it went something like this:

Me: “...9, 10, 11…“
JJ: “Uh, Cindy?“
Me: “Yes? 12, 13…“
JJ: “You only have to do 10.“
Me (blankly): “Doesn’t 10 come somewhere after 13?“

Becca even took pity on me and counted every rep, so that I didn’t even have to count to 2. Yay!  I take back all of the nasty thoughts I had about her during the previous workouts.  Well, most of them.  Some of them she still deserved.  *grin*

I was just 4 squats away from that 20th rep, though… darn it.

Sunday, May 18

Warm-up
1500m row

3x
10 push-ups (from toes)
15 Ab-mat situps
20 walking lunges

Workout:
4x
500m row
10 pull-ups (2 black bands)
15 Back extensions
20 overhead walking lunges (10# dumbbells)

Time:  Still a sucky 33+ minutes, but much of it on those horrid lunges.

A much, MUCH better showing today.  After assessing yesterday’s pathetic performance, I decided to cut myself some slack.  This is something that I’m more than willing to do for everyone ELSE, but, of course, never for myself. 

Evidently, I’m mortal, too.  The shock of this yesterday was almost enough to make me throw up my hands in despair, quit my job, and move someplace like Belize where no one will know about my abject failure.

Oh, wait.  I already decided to do that.

So, deciding that the overall stress of everything, combined with the lack of food and sleep was, in fact, an allowable excuse to have ONE bad day, I approached today with a much cheerier attitude. 

At the very start, the rowing started to come together.  Perhaps breaking everything down again yesterday let me focus on the individual pieces, instead of working on all of it at once.  Or, the fact that I still have an IQ roughly 50 points lower than normal made me *stop thinking* and *just row*.  (Gee, perhaps the “Just Row” on the menu is some sort of subtle dig at those of us who over-intellectualize?  Hmmmm…)

Dropped down to two black bands, and had no problem doing the pull-ups. Of course, this was rounded out by the OH walking lunges, so the day was not perfect.

However, as I sat down to write this, a gray fox strolled across my backyard, drank from the bird bath, and sauntered out again.  I dub today the “Day of the Puppy”.  Puppies make me happy.  This one’s for you, King Bliss.

Saturday, May 17

Warm-up
500m row row (legs)
400m row (back)
300m row (arms)
500m row (everything)

3x
5 dips
10 rollovers
20 walking lunges

Workout:
4x
4 shoulder presses
15 GH sit-ups
20 1-legged squats

This was just a completely horrible workout day for me.  Having watched everyone doing a fantastic job of the Helen, you’d *think* I would have been inspired.  Alas, not the case.

I should have known, even before I left, that my brain was turned off.  I couldn’t get dressed.  I put on my top, which started rolling itself up as I put it over my head, taking my hair with it.  It was completely tied up.  Given the cavalier attitude about clothes at PF I figured that I might be able to get away with it during workout, but how would I explain driving semi-topless if I got stopped by the police?  It wouldn’t be easy. 

Finally got that handled.  I’m not even going to ATTEMPT to describe the whole 5-fingers thing.  Let’s just say that, at some point, I gave up and resorted to regular shoes. 

As for my workout, I’m just going to hope that the whole pathetic thing will just be a distant memory very soon.  Not a good workout showing.  Bah.

Wednesday, May 15
Warmup:
1500 m row
3x:
10 pull-ups (purple band)
10 squats

Workout:
Max reps push presses (15# d-bells) - 40
3x
400 m row
15 deadlifts (85#)

Max reps push presses - 36

Time:  17:47

My last workout before I retire!  I fully expect that next week will see a new, revitalized me.  Suddenly, all of these exercises will seem ridiculously easy and I will breeze through each and every workout.

Right.  Look, it is *my* fantasy, and I’d really appreciate not having my happy little bubble burst, if you don’t mind.  Reality is overrated.  I have abandoned my search for truth and am now looking for a good fantasy.

At the very least, I would hope that my nasty thoughts about Becca (particularly after she’s said, “Yes!  That looks like a good weight for you, Cindy” and I’m fighting just to get the last few in each set - obviously we have differing definitions of what a “good” weight is) will diminish.  Pleasant, charitable thoughts will flow through my mind.  No longer will I glare evilly through the tangled, sweaty mess of my hair; I will be smiling and happy to be working out with such fantastic people, and my beaming, beatific face will be an inspiration to all.

HAHAHAHA!  Yeah.  Not gonna happen.  Sounded pretty good there for a minute, though.

Sunday, May 11
Warmup:
1500 m row
3x:
5 push-ups (from toes!)
15 arch-rocks
20 walking lunges

Workout:
21-15-9
OH Squats (22# bar)
Pull-ups (purple band)
Kettle bell swings (yellow band)
V-sit medicine ball twists (12#)

Time:  17:57

10 slingshots
50 one-footed medicine ball catches

Hint of the Day:  Never, EVER show any signs of weaknesses to those who are creating the workout.  Because I GUARANTEE they will spend an inordinate amount of time focusing *just on that weak spot*.  If you have (hypothetically speaking) strained your calf, and you have (hypothetically speaking) much weaker muscles on the right (hypothetically speaking) side, the workout will, without a doubt, be skewed to that hypothetically bad right leg.  Even when there isn’t really a good way to emphasize this hypothetical right side weakness, they will devise evil, wicked ways of adapting a perfectly pleasant, innocent exercise (for hypothetical purposes, let’s call them “medicine ball catches”) and make you stand on just the one hypothetically bad leg.

*brightening up*  On the other hand (leg?), I spent my last formal staff meeting today entirely balanced on my right foot, in order to strengthen my not-so-hypothetically weak right leg.  It is interesting to note that NOT ONE member of my staff asked why I was standing on one leg.  That is either a reflection of them or me… I’m not sure which I prefer.

Saturday, May 10
Warmup:
1500 m row
3x:
10 push-ups with stability roll
15 ab-mat situps
20 walking lunges

Workout:
4x
6 shoulder presses (60#)
6 pistols (each side)

20 slingshots

This was one hour of pure, unadulterated agony.  The workout itself was bad enough, but I had no energy at all.  Evidently, along with the “not sleeping” thing, I’m now “not eating”.  I forgot to eat on Friday.  Not “oh, I ate bad food”, but… didn’t eat.  You gotta ask yourself, what kind of special stupid do you have to be to forget to eat?!?

So, sweating and swearing, I made it through four rounds.  Somehow.  But it was all totally worth it afterward.

Wednesday, May 7
Warmup:
1500 m row
5x:
5 sit-ups
5 push-ups
5 pull-ups (purple band, no breaks)

Workout:
21-15-9-15-21
65# deadlifts
Dips (purple band)

Cooldown:
Shoulder presses – 6 reps of 65#

Everyone else was doing 21-15-9 with cleans, but since I still don’t have any spring in my calf, I stuck with deadlifts, which are much faster.  I finished well ahead of everyone and decided to continue by working my way back up the number chain.  Of course, halfway through the second 15, I began to regret my decision, but I’d already told myself I’d do it, so I finished.  Aren’t I smarter than this?

And then decided to do a few shoulder presses, since the bar was already at 65#, anyway.

Seriously, you’d think I’d be smarter, wouldn’t you?

Felt pretty good doing the 65# presses, although the last few were definitely a struggle.
I’m actually amazed that I’m improving; with my poor eating and sleeping habits right now, my body has to be completely trashed.  Since I’m moving soon, I’m busily eating everything that I *won’t* be able to get after I move, which means I’m carefully and selectively ingesting nothing even remotely healthy.  I briefly considered doing my own Nutrition Log, just to see if I could incite a coronary in anyone simply from reading what I’ve been eating lately. 

Fortunately I’m making up for the lousy nutritional intake by not sleeping, either. 

Really, I *am* smarter than this.

Tuesday, May 6
Very quick warm-up
3x
10 push-ups
20 sit-ups
30 squats

I’m retiring in a month – and starting to realize the enormity of this decision, as well as the vast number of tasks that have to be completed before I leave.  YIKES!  So, before settling down to tackle some of these things last night, I thought it might be fun to do just a very quick warm-up. 

*blink*

Did I really think that?  That it would be “fun” to do 60 sit-ups, 30 push-ups and 90 squats?

Indeed I did.  That’s precisely the thought that went through my brain.

While I grant that it was, in fact, more “fun” than the rest of the things I accomplished, it was certainly nowhere near what I would have thought of as “fun” about 3 months ago.

I’m torn between being highly elated and greatly disturbed that I’m enjoying this.

Sunday, May 4
Warmup
500m row (legs)
400m row (back)
300 m row (arms)
500 m row (everything)

(3x)
10 push-ups with stability roll
10 ring pull-ups
20 lateral bridges

Workout (3x)
10 shoulder press (52#)
10 pistols
20 Rockys

Saturday, May 3
Warmup (3x)
1000m row
10 push-ups with stability roll
15 arch thumps (I can’t really rock, so it’s more of a thump)
20 squats

Workout (3x)
10 pull-ups (purple band)
30 squats
50 medicine ball twists

Time:  27:48

Okay, so someone here needs to address the Issue of the new timer.  When I first saw it on Wednesday, it was sitting innocently in the front corner.  I didn’t worry about it much, since Becca was there with her eagle-eye, exhorting me to “keep going!” every time I took a rest.  (This ability of hers is a gift – she definitely has more than just two eyeballs in her head.)

However, on Saturday, it was in a new spot – and somehow, everything I did seemed to be facing it.  This new timer – the Super Highly-Illuminated Timer, or SHIT, for short – continued its inexorable ticking up as I watched.  When I needed to take a short rest to finish my set of pull-ups, the big SHIT taunted me with its continued time increase.  My “I just need 3 seconds to rest, then I can finish” was a crock, as the SHIT seems to count three seconds much faster than I.  If I’d had any strength left at all after I finished, I would happily have wrenched it from the wall and thrown it, thereby, of course, having the SHIT hit the fan.

Thursday, May 1
HIKING!

For the first time since I strained my calf, I went for a hike!  It was only about 2 miles, but it was up and down hills!  I definitely felt the stretch and a couple of times I felt a little weakness in the muscle, but I was still able to make it all the way home.  (Note to self:  Next time, build house at BOTTOM of hill, so that the return trip is not UPHILL.  Man, that driveway looked steep and long when I finally returned.) 

I then had homemade cinnamon rolls for dinner, negating any positive effects from the hike. 

I now find myself amused by the “Uses of CrossFit in Daily Life” running tally that I’m keeping in my head.  (Hey, there’s lots of empty space up there these days, so why not?)  It’s actually rather surprising how many opportunities there are (see “water cooler refilling” from 4/30). Then there was the time I found myself at work holding onto a railing, dangling over a 2 story drop, and had to haul myself up onto the ledge (don’t ask, don’t ask).  This was accomplished versus some weird kipping, sideways, pull-up thing – but it worked. 

Or the 110 pound dog who had collapsed on the hiking trail and had to be carried down by his owner and me (a furry Farmer’s walk).  Or the speed and agility I showed last night with the scorpion (don’t ask, don’t ask).  Or when I had to hop upstairs on one foot with bags of groceries, in some weird 1-armed step jump thing because of my strained calf.  (Okay, plus one point for the “weighted step jumps” but minus one point for the fact that the strain itself was caused by working out.  Yeah, maybe that one isn’t a good example.)

So, the conclusion of all of this mental exertion? 

I like cinnamon rolls.

Wednesday, April 30
Warmup – 3x
10 dips
10 OH squats with PVC
20 lateral bridges

Workout – 3x
10 squats 15# db’s
30 hollow rocks
10 1-armed OH squats with 10#
20 arch rocks

Time:  10:34

Okay, so I totally and completely weenied out on the squats.  However, I’m still trying to strengthen my bad calf, so I do NOT want to re-strain it!  Never was the disparity between the two so obvious as on the one-armed squats – one side was not bad at all, but I really struggled on the other side.  That’s why I dropped the weight down so much – the bad leg was really working… but not TOO much.  A heartfelt thanks to Becca for coming up with that special little slice of heaven.  No, really, Becca.  Thank you.  I’ll remember you for this.  I mean that.

As a side note, I appear to be The Only Person capable of changing the water in our cooler at work.  5 gallon water bottle; 8.33 pounds/gallon roughly, for a whopping 41.65 pounds.  Golly.  I could do that even before I started CF; now it’s just remarkably easy.  Clearly, I’m surrounded by weenies.  Note to self:  add push-ups to my interviewing requirements for new employees.

Oh, wait!  I’m RETIRING in 12 days!  Now I have this image of an entire company of weak, dehydrated people, sadly staring at the full water bottles on the floor, unable to figure out how to make the water come out of it.  HAHAHAHA! 

Oh, and to the nice young man who, after completing the Level 2/3 workout before me, made some comment about “Man, that was tough!  I feel like I’m 50 years old!” …  Just wait.  Someday, you, too, will be 50, and I can only hope that some young punk makes the exact same comment to you.  *pffft*

Monday, April 28
Walked up and down my driveway.  Seriously.  Okay, that doesn’t sound like much (although it’s more daunting than it seems, because I live on a hill, and the driveway is both long and steep), but when you lack flexibility and strength in one calf, it’s challenging.  I made a real effort to extend my heel toward the ground when walking uphill.  (Normally, I don’t, but the point of this exercise was to *stretch*.)

I then started mapping a plan to get those darned shoulder presses to 85 pounds in the next 5 weeks.  Okay, a “plan” is a little more grandiose than it sounds.  It’s pretty simple; I have 5 weeks to add 20 pounds.  If I can increase 5 pounds per week, I make it.  (Naturally, any comments/suggestions would be greatly appreciated!)

Week 1 – work on FORM!  This alone should net me a 5 pound increase.  Right now, I’m delicately and gingerly lifting the weight above my head.  A little momentum would go a long way toward an extra 5 pounds.  So, first off, don’t worry about adding weight; just practice (including with an un-weighted stick) to get that explosive movement.  Fortunately, this is a much simpler lift than the Olympic weightlifting, so getting form right won’t take as long.  (Right.  Tell that to my incredibly inflexible shoulders, which do NOT understand why I persist in forcing them behind my ears.)

Week 2 – add 5 pounds.  Get up to 70# this week.  Also work on shoulder flexibility – continue to get my arms comfortable with the range of motion.

Week 3 - back to form.  Don’t worry about the number; just make sure I’m getting every last bit of power out of the movement.

Week 4 – back to the weight!  I need to hit 75# this week.  80# would be great.

Week 5 – Give it a shot!

Jonesy said that this is doable for me.  I really enjoy working on weights with him, which seems so very counter-intuitive.  There’s something incredibly humbling about getting my heavy (to me) weight bar set up, and then having him nonchalantly hand it to me as though it was a paperclip.  (Which, of course, to him, it is.)  Makes me all that much more determined.

I also checked my new Vibram 5-finger shoes, and I believe that I somehow ended up with the exact same ones that he wears.  This, then, I find to be serendipitious and hopefully, portends success in my first weightlifting endeavor!

Hmmm… if I get to Week 4 and haven’t made as much progress as I’d like, perhaps I should pierce my ... ears?